it could possibily be the death of me. things at times do not work out the manner in which they are suppose to i’ve been trying to take this class for days now and instead i find myself a senior and taking it as my last semester comes to an end. the manner in which human anatomy, one class, has managed to take over my entire life in a manner that my 400 level classes don’t even do is incredible to me.
my fun easy going semester of being a senior and graduating has turned into terms in latin that make no sense to me other than i know that if i fail this class i’ll be looking at a winter session at a community college trying to pass this mess ….wonderful.
at what point did i think this was the best semester to give up coffee and also take a 8 am human anatomy class….this semester might just be the LONGEST one ever! (yet part of me may be okay with this)
not sure how to feel, these last four years have really gone fast.
sitting with my best friend today i realized…. the person i once was is no where near the person i am now. i found strength in a time of weakness, i’ve been dragged through hell and back and finally realized that my happiness needs to come before anyone elses. i’ve grown this confidence that seems to shield me from bullshit and lies and makes me realize that life, its messy. i’ve accepted that there are things i’ll never understand nor have the capability to change. that days come and go faster each year. the people that have stood there while i have learned more about myself and been able to emerge as a beautiful strong woman, these are the people that deserve to be there when i reach the finish line. it saddens me to see so many of the individuals that i have called my closes friends leave and turn their backs on me regardless of the situation. i opened my heart to people and learned to forgive. i’ve seen the ugly truth of what life is and how easily it can be taken away and i appreciate every moment even more for what it is. i have seen that nothing is really as simple as it seems but the ride is worth it. i’m glad to say i’ve come as far as i have and i’m ready to dive head first into another journey that will only take me farther. to the semester to come….i say cheers. lets make it unforgettable.
may not be going into creative work, but i believe this applies to other things just as well.
it amazes me how judgmental some people can be.
from what you wear to how you talk to plain condescending rudeness that truly shows their colors.
especially when these people are family.
i suppose that is why i’d rather spend time alone. the stares the questions the condescending tones, i could do without those. the manner in which people are judgmental and try to put others down, its starting to get old.
i suppose that is why i moved away to get away from this, but honestly why run from the people that are trying so hard to prove to everyone else that they are so much better when i have no desire to play their game.
in my freshman year, someone told me, there is nothing more to life than making yourself happy, if people around you want the same it does not matter what you do or what you achieve as long as you are able to face the person you see in the mirror.
personally i could stare at myself all day, and no i am not conceited nor do i have an egocentric personality, its just i have come to realize i am doing what i want, i do not have a rush to become “successful” in someone else’s eyes but rather enjoy my life.
i would hate to wake up 6 years from now to realized i have lived out everyone else’s expectations and dreams but my own.
so i politely say fuck you, and please excuse me if i do not have one fuck about what you think nor what you wish to say i am living for me
unfortunately, i am prohibited to say these to such people in which it would apply. something about being “lady-like” and “respectful”
but tell me why respect those who do not respect you?
okay, thank you.
Until you face all the mistakes you’ve made, you’ll never change
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